CAT: Brown sauce tastes nice!
HUMAN: Placing the splodge of brown sauce too near the edge of a plate and within reach of a cats tail causes a huge mess when said cat swings their tail through the brown sauce and then swings their tail all over your face, top, settee and carpet.
CAT: Putting on your cutest kitten face and standing on your hind legs with your front paws and giving Amber a "cat kiss" and then mewing in her ear whilst asleep, still results in a swift hiss, even after she has played chase with you with a pheasant feather two hours earlier and pretended that she likes you.
CAT: Stairs are fun to run up and down, especially if you have only ever lived in a bungalow. They are still fun even if you have run up and down them together constantly for 20 minutes with your brother in hot pursuit. They are even more fun if you let out your loudest "me-at meow" as you reach the top each time.
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