Monday, 14 February 2011

Rehab

Thank you for all attending this session of Chompers Anonymouse. Who would like to be first to speak?

Three pairs of feline eyes and one pair of human ones fall on the older Sorrel one......

A: Hello. My name is Amber and I am an addict

Thank you Amber. Would you like to tell the group more?

A: Well. I ... have this compulsion. I ...just have to ..... eat Nokia mobile phone chargers......

Amber hangs head in shame

And when did this compulsion begin?

A: Apparently I've always liked chewing things. My nickname used to be Thuglet, until those two boys arrived. I'm definitely more delicate now but I just still like to chew. I've tried ipod headphones, but phone chargers are still my favourite.

When was your latest fix?

A: This morning. The Housekeeper came downstairs to make tea and as she turned on the computer, she noticed the copper wires protruding from the black coating. I'm not very clever at covering my tracks. I heard this cry of AM-BER from where I was skulking at the time.

What happened last night?

A: Well, they'd all done to bed. Crystal was cuddling under the duvet, the boys were in their hammocks and I was roaming. I was bored. I saw it on the table. I tried to resist, really I did. But all of a sudden there it was, in front of me, in two pieces, chomped.

At least I waited till the humans were out of sight. I chomped a pair of ipod headphones whilst actually sitting next to Mr Housekeeper on the settee. That DIDN'T go down well. Especially as they were a brand new replacement for another set that I'd chewed.

Do you know why you chomp cables?

A: It's not ALL cables. It's just Nokia phone chargers. The Housekeeper says maybe its because the copper wire in the middle is the same colour as me and looks good with my fur!

Amber blinks the wide eyed blink of a "trying to look innocent" Abyssinian Cat

So how do you feel today?

A: Embarrassed. The Housekeeper insisted on posting an entry that said "Amber 4 - Phone Chargers 0" on her "MyFaceSpaceBook page" to tell the whole world, asking if anyone had an old charger that she could have to replace the chomped one.

Someone brought one round too - Crystal was SUCH a tart, standing on her hind legs with Moppy in her mouth showing full tummy to the visitor - it was SO embarrassing

Think I might keep a low cat profile for a day or two.....

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